How Tony Robbins Helped Me Shape My Destiny

Tony Robbins is an American motivational speaker, personal finance advisor, life coach and self-help guru/author who inspires millions worldwide. His stellar works and achievements are too vast to write, and if you haven't listened to his speeches or read his books yet, it's a definite must. Some of his clientèle includes the likes of Bill Clinton, Hugh Jackman, Nelson Mandela and Margaret Thatcher.

If they can learn a thing or two from Tony Robbins, I'm sure you and I can learn a lot from him too! 

Robbins explains to us that we have the power to create and design our own destinies. We are the ones that are solely responsible for our emotions, actions and decisions, which will in turn shape our destiny. Below are the three key factors shared by Tony Robbins in his book "Re-Awaken the Giant Within", that helped me shape my destiny. 


1. Decisions Shape Our Destiny

Source: Lifehack

Source: Lifehack

Ever made a decision in your life that changed the entire course of your life overnight? 

I know I have.

I've shared before how my decision to relocate from New Zealand to Singapore have changed my life.
I experienced new things, gradually changed my values in life, gained and lost priceless things during the process. Ultimately, I've transformed into a completely different person, living a different course of life. One single decision have changed my life upside down.

Can you think of any decisions you've made in the past that caused an abrupt change in your life? Whether it's for the better or worst, such life transforming decisions are never easy to make. I still remember the sleepless nights before my flight to Singapore, convincing myself that I've made the right decision. I knew a lot was at stake because my decision would change my destiny. 

But what if I told you that it's not only the big decisions in life, but also the small ones that can change the course of your life? It can be the most littlest things such as: deciding to put on a smile when you're stressed, deciding to be grateful, deciding to go to bed early, or even deciding to drink more water. Just like the ripples in a pond when you throw a small pebble, the most seemingly trivial thoughts, actions and decisions you make on a daily basis will have a consequence; changing the course of your life forever

If you can accept the idea I've just told you, then would you agree that ALL decisions are equally important? 

"Small" decisions such as deciding to be grateful everyday will shape our future and destiny just as much as "Big" decisions like deciding to relocate to a new continent would. 

Then why is it that we overlook some of the most basic things in life? There are literally thousands of small things you can do every day that will change your life for the better. It's because, in life, lots of people know what to do, but few people actually do what they know. As Tony Robbins puts it: "Knowing is not enough! You must take action." 

"It's our decisions, not the conditions of our lives, that determine our destiny." Robbins shares with us three different decisions that control our destinies: 

  1. Your decision about what to focus on.
  2. Your decision about what things mean to you.
  3. Your decision about what to do to create the results you desire.

You have the power to create and shape your own destiny. It all starts with making the right decisions, one at a time. 



2. Emotions Create Motion

Source: Lifehack

Source: Lifehack

Many people make the mistake of being influenced and conjuring emotions based on things that we have no control over -- others' actions, certain events and circumstances that happen to us. But in reality, it's you that are responsible for what you feel, you are the source of your emotions. It's important that we fully understand this and become masters of our own emotions, because emotions are the fuel that drives us to take action. How you feel determines what you do, and what you do determines your destiny. 

Do you only feel passionate when you're being loved?

Do you only feel successful when you've hit you're sales target? 

Do you only feel happy when everything goes right in your day?

You don't have to condition yourself to feel good only when certain things happen to you. Empower yourself to feel amazing without any special reasons -- you can just decide to feel good right now, simply because you're ALIVE, simply because you want to. "You can feel any way you choose at any moment in time.

"How do we “get” passion? The same way we “get” love, warmth, appreciation, gratefulness, and curiosity—we decide to feel it! Use your physiology: speak more rapidly, visualize images more rapidly, move your body in the direction you want to go. Don’t just casually sit and think. You can’t be filled with passion if you’re slumping over your desk, breathing shallowly, and slurring your speech." (Excerpt taken from the book: Re-Awaken the Giant Within, Tony Robbins)

Tony Robbins describes emotions as "a gift, a guideline, a support system and a call to action." If we can fully embrace and become masters of our own emotions; we will become masters of our actions and destinies. 



3. Your Values Create Your Destiny

Your daily decisions have the power to shape and create your destiny, and your decisions are fueled by your emotions. The last key factor to become masters of our own destinies is our values. Values guide our every decisions, and therefore, our destiny. 

Have you ever been in a situation when you were torn apart during a tough decision-making process?

Let's go back to the decision-making process I went through when I was debating whether to relocate to Singapore. The process was indeed an internal torture. I wasn't clear of many things and found myself asking questions that I could not possibly know the answers to.  

Would I be more happy if I moved to Singapore?  

Would I be more successful?

What if I failed?

As I look back, there is one major flaw in my process. I was questioning things that were completely out of my control, mindlessly ignoring the inherent values I had as a person. Instead, the questions I should have asked myself were:

Is it the experience and/or money that makes me happy?

Or do I value my relationships first?

Do I value adventure or am I grateful for the things that I already have?

All decision-making comes down to values clarification. "When you know what's most important to you, making a decision is quite simple. Most people, though, are unclear about what's most important in their lives, and thus decision-making becomes a form of internal torture." I ended up moving to Singapore, and thankfully in large, I think I've made the right decision. But next time I'm faced with another event that requires decision-making of such magnitude, I'm going to make a decision based on my values that are consistent with what I believe my life is truly about. 

"Living and doing what you believe is the right thing will give you that sense of inner strength that we all deserve. Always remember that your values -- whatever they are -- are the compass that is guiding you to your ultimate destiny." 


I practice what I learned from Tony Robbins quite religiously. I don't just feel but I know that I'm in charge of my everyday decisions. I'm responsible for what I feel. And indeed, I have the power to shape my own destiny and have full control over my life. 


Did you have times where you felt helpless? 

Do you get upset and stressed by things that you cannot control?

Or did you live a life where you were dictated as to what to feel and how to live?


Don't be a victim anymore, take responsibility and gain full control over your life and your destiny.